Spinster Mom

Your First First Day of School

I’m not sure how we arrived at this point. It seems like seconds ago that you were just two tiny nuggets of potential growing inside of me. And, yet, you’re closing in on three-years-old, and about to embark on one of the major milestones of life.

Your First Day of School. To be more accurate – your first First Day of School. From today, life will be different for all of us. For almost three years, it’s just been the three of us. Sure, we had occasional babysitters, but I have never before turned over your care and well being so entirely to others. In fact, it wasn’t even until a couple of months ago, when I had to fly cross-country to go house hunting, that we even spent a day apart.

And while we will still be together every night, and on your days off from school, we will not be each other’s entire world anymore – at least not as we have been until today. You have new teachers, and you’ll make new friends. The outside world will begin to influence you now. I can’t stop that from happening anymore, and that’s a little scary. I’m putting you out into the world, and I can’t control what the world offers you.

There’s a lot of good out there, but there’s a lot that’s not so good. If I could protect you from the bad forever, I would, but I know that’s not possible. And it’s not practical either. You need to learn and grow so that you can ultimately take your places in the world and be the strong, independent women that you are already showing signs of being.

It’s right, and it’s time. I know how fortunate I was to have these years with you – just us, together. Not everyone gets that. But it hasn’t been easy, and the 24/7 togetherness has taken its toll at times. You need some time away from me to discover yourselves (yes, even at such a young age), and I need some time away from you to rediscover myself (yes, even at such an advanced age!). It will be good for us, and our time together will be that much sweeter.

Of course, you don’t understand any of that now. You just know that you’re starting school. We’ve talked about it, you’ve had your trial day, and we’ve read books. You’re excited, even though you don’t understand how momentous this really is. And that’s good. Be excited. Be bold. Be the incredible little people I know that you are. Leave the worry and sentimentality to me. That’s my job. Your job is to be amazing people, and that’s already a job well done. Always remember how much I love you. That is something that will never change, no matter how much the world changes or how much you change over the years. My love for you is infinite, and that’s why I can let you walk in through those doors with confidence. When you walk back out through another set of school doors in a couple of decades, you, I, and the world will be better for it.
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