Spinster Mom

Feb 2016

Bedtime Stories for the Modern Baby - Repost

Another repost, this time from August 11, 2015. And remember, you can check out my old blog, Sister Kristen Wants a Baby, to read about my journey to becoming a single mom to twins.

I’ve always talked to my babies. Since they were born, we’ve had entire conversations. Granted, they can seem a bit one-sided at times, but I figure they’ll catch up eventually (or I’ll catch up with them – one or the other!). We also read books on occasion. I plan to read more to them as they get older (and we have an amazing library all ready to go), but let’s face it, they’re not following the story right now, and engaging with two eight-month-olds at once, while looking at a book, is kind of tough. I find it more effective to sit in front of them and play and talk right now.

That said, we have read some books at bedtime, and not long ago, while at my lake house, I found myself making up my first bedtime story. The room was pitch black and they were already having trouble falling asleep – I wasn’t going to make it worse by turning on a light to read a book!

I’ve transcribed the story below, and I think it reflects pretty well on the personalities of both my girls – and their mother! Enjoy!
“Once upon a time there were two little princesses (wait, why do they have to be princesses? Ok, fine, they're princesses). The two little princesses, Princess Jocelyn and Princess Hayden, were bored with sitting in their castle, so they decided that it was time for an adventure. While no one was looking, they left the nursery, escaped the castle through the back door, and headed for the forest.

They danced along happily in the forest for several minutes until they heard two voices calling for help. Following the voices, they soon came to a clearing. The first things they saw were two beautiful horsies, with huge feathery wings. Magical though the horsies might be, the two little princesses didn't think that they had been the ones to call for help.

Soon they heard the voices again and they realized that they were coming from a ditch at the side of the clearing. Peering down into the ditch, they saw two boys at the bottom. They thought they might be princes, but they couldn't be sure, what with all the dirt all over them.

When the boys saw the princesses, they called to them, "Get help! We've fallen off our horses and we can't get out of this ditch!"

Princess Hayden knew exactly what to do. She spun her bib around to its proper cape position and started forward, crying, "Don't worry! We'll save you!"

The boys laughed and Princess Hayden stopped short. "You can't save us!” the boys said. “You're just little girls! We're supposed to save you!"

Princess Jocelyn could see that Princess Hayden was about to work herself up to a full Category 5 Hurricane, so she crawled forward and pulled her sister back. She turned calmly to the boys and gave them her best Resting Baby Bitch Face. "OK, then," she said smoothly. "You stay there. We're going to take your horsies and go have adventures. Bye-bye."

At first Princess Hayden had been upset that her sister had not let her go full Hurricane, but now she laughed and waved (she had just learned to wave) to the boys. Then she followed Princess Jocelyn to the horsies and quickly mounted. She left her bib in cape mode because, after all, it looked so much better that way.

The horsies were very happy to be with the little Princesses now (boys were so, well, boyish!). They promised to take them on all the adventures they wanted. So off the Princesses flew on the backs of their horsies - first stop, the magical city of London!”

Stay tuned for the continuing adventures of Princess Jocelyn and Princess Hayden, if, that is, Queen Mommy survives the adventure in London!

Taking the Show on The Road (Or at Least to the Store) - Repost

During my efforts to revive my blog, I noticed that some posts had gone missing due, I suspect, to technical issues when last updating. This is one, from July 27, 2015, when my girls were just over 7 months old. So much has changed since then (especially the bedtime routine!), but I thought it was worth re-posting.

Also, don’t forget to check out my old blog,
Sister Kristen Wants a Baby, to learn more about my journey to being a single mom of twins!

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Shopping with twins is exhausting. Everything takes at least twice as long. Not because of the logistics of managing two babies, but because of the logistics of managing everyone's questions and comments about two babies! I don’t know what it is about twins and other multiples that makes people feel like they have license to ask all manner of intrusive questions, or make what they consider to be witty remarks. I have never once asked someone how their child was conceived or suggested that they might be done having kids. But every parent of multiples knows that you face these types of questions and comments every time you go out (and seriously, twins are not nearly as rare as the once were, so get over it!!)

Here’s a sampling of encounters from just one shopping trip:

Man 1 - "Twins! Double Trouble!"
Me - "Ha, ha, yeah." Smile politely.

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Man 2 - "Two girls! Wow! Two weddings to pay for! Better to invest in two ladders so they can elope!"
Me - "Ha, ha, yeah, that's a thought." Smile politely.

***

Saleswoman (after hearing me say, "We're going on vacation in a couple of weeks") - "You're lucky there's two of you. I don't know how single moms do it with twins."
Me - "Um, I am single."
Saleswoman - "Oh my God! So, when you said 'we' you meant you and the babies! I don't know how you do it."
Saleswoman (upon me mentioning my two dogs) - "You're crazy!"
Me - "So I'm told." Smile politely.

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Old Man - "Twins! Do you do everything in twos?"
Me - "I guess so, because I have two dogs too."
Old Man - "Do you have two husbands too?" Me - "Nope. None."
Old Man - "Oh!"
Random Woman passing by - "That's good. Smart choice."
Me - Try desperately not to laugh.

***

Old Woman - "Double Trouble!"
Me (see above)
Old Woman - "Are these all the kids you have?"
Me - "Yes, unless you count the two dogs."
Old Woman - "No, no. But I bet your husband loves the dogs!"
Me - (Huh? silently) "Yeah..." Smile politely.

This does not count the lengthy conversation at the Walmart checkout with the Mom, Kid and Grandma who were very nice, but very inquisitive, and were glad I gave my kids "normal" (their word) names, and not matching ones.

If I added all of the encounters I’ve had over the last several months, I’d have to talk about all of these: The guy in the restaurant who asked if I was breastfeeding. The many times someone has said, “You sure have your hands full!” The number of times I’ve been asked if they’re “natural,” or if I knew I was having twins (Seriously? In this age of prenatal screening?). If twins run in my family (they do – my dad was a twin – but not relevant in my case). Being told I’m lucky they weren’t triplets.

And of course, there are the many, many people who say (even shout from passing cars, “God Bless You!” At least for that one, I have a response ready. I just look at my beautiful girls and say, “He already has.”

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